the gay reason we won the revolution
one of my favorite facts about america is that we would probably still be a british territory if a man who was being persecuted for having gay sex in europe hadn’t fled for the colonies. his name is baron von steuben, and he trained up george washington’s continental army.
being a european — born in germany in the 18th century — baron von steuben knew damn near zero english. sources differ on this, but let’s propose that he could eventually swear in english, french and german. pretty funny. (at the time, french was a far more useful language.)
the men loved his approach. and some of them loved him. in bed.
now, at this point some readers (like the one trying to tell lynda carter wonder woman isn’t queer) would go, oh, but could we ignore this?
not if you want your own country, little miss erasure 2022. (the sash is ugly, and the tiara is broken. you don’t want to win.)
the SOLE reason baron von steuben came to america is that his homosexual acts (because the research tells us sexuality was seen as acts rather than desire back then) turned him from a darling of frederick the great and a notable member of the prussian army — then a pre-eminent force — into an ostracized character.
insert ben franklin. ben was in france, where the baron was looking for work. ben proposed that this former prussian army officer and assistant to its leader go to the colonies and help general washington win the war.
sources differ on how much franklin and washington knew of von steuben’s affinity for gay sex before franklin recommended him and washington put him in charge, but the research is pretty clear on how much the baron didn’t hide and how much enough influential people came to learn.
the thing about success, though? people will look past a lot. even crime, so long as it doesn’t interfere with your work. so the baron would train men by day and sleep with (the same) one or two by night: benjamin walker and william north. and again, the only reason he was in this position? a reputation for loving gay sex. if you erase his identity, you erase his reason for leaving europe, and we probably lose the war.
after the war, the baron was given a house in new jersey. today it is a historical landmark. it is the first stop on the queer treasure hunt in my book, and its presence on that hunt results in significant cable entertainment coverage of who the baron was, since so few schools cover the baron’s essential role in us winning the war.
other things i plan to cover:
17th century french drag balls
how incredibly gay russia was until the 1930s
actual lesbian pirates getting actually married hundreds of years ago