If they’d been president when we landed on the moon

Joe Biden: “I’m the most moon-focused president in this race, and I don’t regret anything President Obama or I ever did to get very slightly closer to landing on the moon.”

Bernie Sanders: “Today’s news that Neil Armstrong has landed on the moon is yet more proof that when we stand together, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.”

Beto: ::standing on the White House kitchen counter:: “El luna es buena.”

Marianne Williamson: “… what? What? The moon has NO ORBS?!”

Elizabeth Warren: “I told you I had a plan for that.”

John Hickenlooper: “As today’s moon landing proves, socialism is not the answer.”

Kamala: “That little astronaut girl was me.”

Hillary: “Actually … “

Tulsi: “As president, I send my aloha to the moon, to our astronauts, to everyone who loves science.”

Nancy Pelosi: “Neil Armstrong isn’t an astronaut, but his words are astronautical.”

Donald Trump: “Our Army has taken over the moon’s airports.”

AOC: “I applaud Neil Armstrong and the entire space program for reaching the moon.

Next, we’re going to abolish ICE and close the concentration camps.”

Katherine Johnson: “You’re welcome, Neil.”